Tuesday, January 19, 2010

The worst movie blurb whores of 2009

Just 30% of top critics gave positive reviews to the big budget musical “Nine,” but movie blurb whore Peter Travers of Rolling Stone magazine couldn’t say enough great things about it.
A report by Hollywood Bitchslap says Travers led all comers for critics’ quotes used in advertisements to sell movies to audiences last year. In 2009, movie studios used 77 quotes from Travers to promote their flicks.
I once got suckered into watching a crappy movie – “Smoke Signals” (1998) – based on a glowing quote from Travers. I learned my lesson the hard way. This guy either has no taste or writes in breathless praise of movies in order to get quoted in movie ads.
Consider Travers’ review of the Weinstein Company’s “Nine,” starring Daniel Day-Lewis. Most critics (70%) gave it negative reviews, according to Rotten Tomatoes. But Travers heaped such praise on the flick that he generated five quotes for ads promoting it:

“Dazzling!”

“Rob Marshall's work is visionary and electric.”

“Daniel Day-Lewis acts like the maestro he is and Kate Hudson, Nicole Kidman and Fergie are smashing! Penelope Cruz is sizzling! Marion Cotillard is perfection! Judi Dench is a sassy delight! Sophia Loren is the iconic face of Italia!”

“A hot-blooded musical fantasia full of song, dance and simmering sexuality.”

“Nine fires on all cylinders!”

Coming in second to Travers last year in Hollywood Bitchslap’s annual Criticwatch report was Pete Hammond. His reviews have been published in Maxim, Hollywood.com, Boxoffice Magazine and Backstage Magazine.
The studios used 49 quotes from his reviews to promote their movies last year. And most of those movies were bad. Hollywood Bitchslap says 29 of the 49 films for which Hammond was quoted on in 2009 received a “Rotten” rating by Rotten Tomatoes.
Here are samples of his work:

Old Dogs – “Riotously funny!”

G-Force – “Hilarious! Pure family fun: Action, laughs and heart.”

Hotel for Dogs – “One comedy (that) will have you begging for more!”

17 Again – “Zac Efron shoots and scores!” “Hilarious and heartwarming.”

Scooby-Doo: The Mystery Begins – “Perfect family entertainment.”

Confessions of a Shopaholic – “Confessions is a nonstop laughing spree.”

You get the idea. The guy is shameless.

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