Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Funny spam emails that prey on male insecurities

Occasionally I like to check out the spam email folder of my Yahoo Mail account to see what kind of junk solicitations I’m receiving.
There’s the usual weight loss gimmicks, credit report pitches and online dating services. But the ones I find entertaining are those for penis enlargement and male sexual performance pills.
These emails prey on male insecurities and promise to give guys the size and stamina of a porn star.
Some ads try to look professional. One product, Nitroxin, uses retired porn actress Bree Olson as a spokesperson. The ad says “11,189 men (have) tried Nitroxin already.” That’s oddly specific.
It claims its “male enhancement supplements and creams” can “increase size & girth” and let men “last longer during sex.”
The Better Business Bureau of New York City gives Nitroxin Products a letter grade of F based on 32 consumer complaints in the past three years.

Another product, Extenze, is endorsed by pro football coach and TV commentator Jimmy Johnson. (How hard up for cash are you, Jimmy?) It’s described as a male sexual performance enhancement product. A Wikipedia article details the many legal actions, criticisms and controversy about the company and its product.
Yet another product, Vydox, is promoted by PGA golfers Brian Gay and Mark Calcavecchia, according to spam emails. Vydox has been the subject of numerous consumer complaints, according to Scambook. The BBB of Central Georgia gives Vydox maker Premium Nutraceuticals a D- grade, based on 225 complaints over the last three years.
Other penis enlargement and male sex performance pill makers are even more shady. They send out emails with bad grammar and poor English with big come-ons. These are the ones with the most unintentionally funny spam ads.
Here are some of their recent pitches:

Get a hard on, not a hard sell
Finally enjoy the sex life youve always dreamed of.

Male enhancement madness
Make her mad for your man meat.

Gain inches overnight
Give your woman the pleasure she deserves.

Experience mind blowing sex today
Are you ready to rock her world with your rock-hard penis?

A pill to end to erectile dysfunction
Effective, affordable: blow your load, not your budget.

Are You a “STUD” or “DUD?”

Hitting her g-spot everytime

Ashamed in the Bed?
Black Bull Male Enhancement

Swell with size and confidence
Potent penis promos
Discover what thousands of men around the world are raving about!

A pill to revolutionize your sex life
Hard-on heaven
Once you take this supplement, no woman will be able to resist you.

A pill that can change your sex life forever
Free herbal trial offers
Come to us for your male potency needs, and you will be coming in her.

STAY HARD FOR 7 HOURS!!!!!!!
Vydox Risk Free Trial

Make her the queen of the world
Penis Growth Free trial
Great fun is guaranteed once your pecker becomes a monster

She loves it bigger and longer
Enlarge with Free trial sample
Bang her hard and make her moan

Gain Up To 3 Inches Permanently‏!

Be the Pied Piper of chicks

The TV used to be her favorite night program, now she just stares at my new found man meat.

Related stories: 

Viagra, luxury watch and weight loss pitches still flooding e-mail inboxes. (Jan. 18, 2009)

Spam e-mail still a booming business despite the current recession. (March 31, 2009)

Penis enlargement pill e-mails good for a laugh. (Feb. 11, 2011)

Funny penis enlargement e-mail pitches. (Oct. 18, 2013)

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