Funny penis enlargement e-mail pitches

Like most people, I get a lot of spam email. Thankfully, modern spam filters used by Yahoo, Google and others dump this junk into a spam folder. These emails include mostly shady promotions for mortgage refinancing, fake Rolex watches, work-from-home scams and hookup services to find “local sluts.”
They also include pitches for products claiming to enlarge penises. I find these e-mails funny because they shamelessly exploit men’s insecurities, make wild sex claims and are written in poor English.
What follows is a sampling of e-mail pitches I’ve found in my spam folders, including misspellings.

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Your lady will be clamoring to copulate with you every night

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Supercharge Your Sex Life
Fantastic results for length and girth
I didnt know a simple herbal remedy like this could make my life wonderful again.

Your love tool is set to thrill
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COCKZILLA is the word
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Wonder pills for thrills
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She will be yearning to lie in bed with you every night

She will surely pounce on you
Sample enlargement
A pill that is like no other

Promo enlargement
I did not dare to date girls until I managed to upsize my little pecker.

Solution to your intimacy probs
Do you want to please your girlfriend at night?

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Rock her world, and she will rock you all night long, try our herbal formula today.

Every cunt is tight after having that size
The biggest secret for men on the internet revealed here

Get your hard long one today
Promo Men’s Supplement
Impress all in the locker room

Free Sample Men's Supplement
I regained confidence in Eva Longoria after 2 months on herbal supplements

Sexy girls will look at you differently
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Leave a lasting impression

She loves it bigger and longer
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Become a female mag sex fantasy

Attract the RIGHT girls with wonder pills
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Cuum for much longer with express herbals

Solution to your intimacy probs
Do you want to please your girlfriend at night?

Photos: T-shirt reading “My pen is huge.” Singer Morrissey and “Penis mightier than the sword” play on words.