Friday, October 18, 2013

Funny penis enlargement e-mail pitches

Like most people, I get a lot of spam email. Thankfully, modern spam filters used by Yahoo, Google and others dump this junk into a spam folder. These emails include mostly shady promotions for mortgage refinancing, fake Rolex watches, work-from-home scams and hookup services to find “local sluts.”
They also include pitches for products claiming to enlarge penises. I find these e-mails funny because they shamelessly exploit men’s insecurities, make wild sex claims and are written in poor English.
What follows is a sampling of e-mail pitches I’ve found in my spam folders, including misspellings.

A babe-filled life awaits you
Rock her hard on your first date
Your lady will be clamoring to copulate with you every night

Smell sweeter below the belt
Get all the bed action you have ever dreamed of with your brand new pecker.

So hard you can break an egg
Discover the secrets of thousands of satisfied men worldwide

Supercharge Your Sex Life
Fantastic results for length and girth
I didnt know a simple herbal remedy like this could make my life wonderful again.

Your love tool is set to thrill
Enlargement pils Free trial
Bang harder and longer, come harder and shoot further with our revolutionary pill.

COCKZILLA is the word
Enlargement pils Sample
Available now for a limited period – Men’s supplement to gain extra inches, results assured

Wonder pills for thrills
Penis Growth Free Sample
She will be yearning to lie in bed with you every night

She will surely pounce on you
Sample enlargement
A pill that is like no other

Promo enlargement
I did not dare to date girls until I managed to upsize my little pecker.

Solution to your intimacy probs
Do you want to please your girlfriend at night?

Enlargement pils Free trial sample
Rock her world, and she will rock you all night long, try our herbal formula today.

Every cunt is tight after having that size
The biggest secret for men on the internet revealed here

Get your hard long one today
Promo Men’s Supplement
Impress all in the locker room

Free Sample Men's Supplement
I regained confidence in Eva Longoria after 2 months on herbal supplements

Sexy girls will look at you differently
Enlargement supplement Free trials
Leave a lasting impression

She loves it bigger and longer
Enlarge with Free trial
Become a female mag sex fantasy

Attract the RIGHT girls with wonder pills
Enlarge with Free Sample
Cuum for much longer with express herbals

Solution to your intimacy probs
Do you want to please your girlfriend at night?

Photos: T-shirt reading “My pen is huge.” Singer Morrissey and “Penis mightier than the sword” play on words.

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