How to waste $100 in Google AdWords

Google recently sent me a coupon for $100 in free advertising through its Google AdWords program.
I’m a blogger on Google’s Blogger network, but have no reason to advertise my personal blog. So I decided to blow the money “Brewster’s Millions” style.
First, I created an ad for my coverage of Lingerie Football League wardrobe malfunctions, the topic that generates most of the traffic for my blog.
Then, I created an ad to inflate my self-worth and boost my personal brand.
Both text ads were immediately flagged by Google’s automated screening system. They remained “under review” for a week or so before I decided to change them.
I later decided I was getting enough traffic for LFL wardrobe malfunctions on my own, so I canceled that pending ad campaign. It wasn’t going to get approved with words like “nip slips” and “bare butts” anyway.
My original “Patrick Seitz, Tech business journalist” ad (see photo) had the sub-headline “Sex symbol.” But the word “sex” is a no-no with Google, so I changed it to “Women want him; men want to be him.” That’s what they used to say about James Bond.
That ad started running Monday.
You can see it if you search for “Seitz” and “Patrick and Seitz,” but not simply “Patrick Seitz.” Strange.
The ad won’t be up very long because I’m burning through my funny money pretty fast.
My first day of AdWords cost $12.26. I got eight clicks on my ad at $1.53 each.